


Vax'ildan

by BonTheScottishVampire97



Series: Our Dear Rogue [2]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Also in this house we love and respect The Raven Queen, Btw grog and tary are there, Cassandra Allura and Kima too, Established Shaun Gilmore/Vax'ildan, F/M, Gilmore is still processing the news, Hope she's doing okay today, I suck at tagging, Implied Percy/Vex'ahlia, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Just realized I forgot to tag that, M/M, Past Character Death, Raven!Vax, SO SORRY, Someone check on Gil, Trans Vax'ildan (Critical Role), Transphobia, Trinket knows his uncle anywhere no matter what he looks like, Vax still checking in on everyone and guilt tripping his dad even after death, im still recovering from The Search For Grog okay??, oh shit, poor guy isn't okay, they're just not named
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-15
Updated: 2020-12-15
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:07:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28087452
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BonTheScottishVampire97/pseuds/BonTheScottishVampire97
Summary: Vax'ildan had left his mark on several people in his life, but none more than his family.
Relationships: Percival "Percy" Fredrickstein Von Musel Klossowski de Rolo III/Vex'ahlia, Shaun Gilmore/Vax'ildan
Series: Our Dear Rogue [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2092359
Comments: 2
Kudos: 23





	Vax'ildan

**Author's Note:**

> Three quick things that I felt were important to say-
> 
> 1) Vax is referred to as Val'dinah in the beginning, Val'dinah being Vax's deadname, Vax being Trans. 
> 
> This is to show how his name isn't respected by his father or his father's PA. 
> 
> As someone who has a complicated relationship with their own deadname, I know this may be upsetting for some and are willing to change it if it's a problem but I felt it helped show the sort of relationships it is Vax had with these people.
> 
> 2) I know Syldor wasn't this horrible on the show, this characterization of him doesn't accurately reflect his true ideals or feelings for his family and doesn't even reflect my actual feelings on Syldor. 
> 
> This characterization change was just to help me process my own trauma from living with transphobic parents.
> 
> 3) Rian and Syldor are bad people who did horrible things to Vax (and Vex) when they were young. 
> 
> The bit at the beginning is not meant to draw sympathy for them but rather is to highlight how they viewed Vax.
> 
> Rian saw Vax as a plaything and is mourning the loss of control he had over Vax, not the loss of Vax himself.
> 
> Syldor, who is trying to do better by Velora, is struggling with his past actions and/or inactions and had been hoping to try and potentially make it up to the twins.
> 
> (This would be impossible and he most likely knows this.)
> 
> This doesn't mean he has been redeemed, just that he understands he was in the wrong and regrets it, that he's trying to improve, but it doesn't undo what he did.

It was with a heavy heart he walked down those long, tall, gaudy hallways.

Head held high, spirit sunk low, with a letter in hand.

Entering his employer's study, Rian Tyrrel found himself delivering news he hadn't expected to hurt -

Vax'ildan was dead.

Syldor never recognised Vax's name, always called him Val'dinah even after all this time had passed.

Rian couldn't care for it, Vax'ildan - He prefers how ~~Val~~ rolls off his tongue, while Vax just felt clunky to him.

But he reads the telegram as it is written, sighing as he does so, steely grey eyes flickering over the neat script of one Percival De Rolo.

 ~~Val'dinah Vessar~~ , Vax'ildan Heatherwood, was dead.

Velora and her mother have been invited to stay in Whitestone while a funeral and festival are held for the young, heroic Half Elf.

Syldor has been asked to not attend, the reasons why not needed to be written.

The Ambassador of Syngorn just rests his face in his hands, nodding to Rian.

Rian bows and leaves, stopping into the lounge to relay the news to Devana.

Devana cries, she had really liked the twins, her heart breaking for a broken family.

Rian then goes about seeing preparations are made for Devana and Velora's visit to Whitestone, asking for Velora to be sent to her mother so Devana can tell her the news about Vax.

The air in the Vessar household is cold and tense.

A shriek followed by passionate yelling and hearty sobs soon spills out from the lounge as poor young Velora learns of her older brother's fate.

* * *

The day Devana and Velora leave to journey for Vax's funeral is a grey, cold, wet one with a mute foulness.

Syldor doesn't even wave the girls off, working in his study to bury his head.

He didn't expect to feel bad, didn't expect to care.

He hadn't cared while Vax was alive, so why now?

But a bone-deep sorrow and regret haunts the man as does the face of the child he once almost killed now haunts his every dream.

It took him by surprise when a raven suddenly got in through his study window, the man startling and almost going for his letter opener.

The raven just caws softly, a sad look in it's small and beady, void-like eyes.

Then it flies off, leaving through the window it had come in through, Syldor now staring after it dumbly with a sudden churning in his gut.

He drinks himself to sleep that night, tossing and turning feverishly as he dreams of a Half Elf boy who just wanted to be loved.

Rian Tyrrel doesn't fare much better in the wake of Vax's death, stopping and starting randomly throughout the day as silly little things remind him of the poor little child he had cruelly abused oh-so freely for 7 years.

He just stares ahead thinking about how often it was the child would cry and hide away from him to avoid being beaten or worse.

Think of how he'd chase little ~~Val'dinah Vessar~~ Vax'ildan Heatherwood all over the house in the dark of night, his belt in his hand.

And then he'd hang his head and frown before moving on.

* * *

Velora doesn't leave Vax's room until the funeral is about to begin, clutching onto the small Owlbear plush toy Vax had given her when they had first met.

Vex'ahlia cries whenever she looks at Velora - All she can see is her recently, dearly departed twin.

Devana feels guilty for keeping the little girl away from the twins so much, but she had been so fearful that their lifestyle would have gotten little Velora hurt.

She thinks about letting Vex "babysit" more in future.

* * *

The funeral is a private affair in the Whitestone cemetery, Vox Machina and friends alone with only Velora and her mother tagging along.

Pike leads the service, crying the entire time.

Percy gives a speech, Vex clinging always to his side.

Some of Vax's ashes are scattered over a beautiful gravestone that is adorned by wreaths of snowdrops Keyleth had made for him.

Then they return to the castle to debrief and shut down for the rest of the day.

Just a few days later, a festival of sorts was held in town.

A grand celebration of the life and death of the forever young champion of the forever misunderstood and feared Raven Queen, Vax'ildan Heatherwood.

Drinks are had, sweets and cakes filling tables which line the cobbled streets.

Music plays loud and proud, people staying close and together, hearts heavy.

A statue is unveiled quietly in the small Raven Queen temple Percy had made for Vax in the cemetery, the Half Elf's beauty captured in a gorgeous black marble speckled with gold.

Vex and Percy pray to the Goddess who stole Vex's world away, not letting go even as they walk away.

As people feast away, a small toast is made, Scanlan then singing a haunting song he had written for his dear rogue friend.

It's a beautiful affair, Vax would have loved it.

But Vax'ildan was dead.

Then Velora crawls into bed with her big sister that night, the girls crying themselves to sleep as Trinket stands guard by the foot of the bed.

And if a raven does caw from the windowsill that night, Trinket keeps the encounter a secret to his heart - He would protect his Mother and Aunt Velora, his Uncle Vax need not worry.

* * *

When dawn breaks and the mail is collected, none are surprised to see a letter from Shaun Gilmore sitting out on the dining room table.

He had said he couldn't face them yet, that he needed time to mourn over his boyfriend by himself.

Percy reads it out to them, giving them all Gilmore's words of pure love and shared, bitter bereavement.

They cry and hug each other, trying to pray before they have breakfast but few coherent words get out.

An empty chair by Vex's side keeps stealing their attention away, words unimportant.

**_For Vax'ildan was dead._ **


End file.
